Cricket Round 9

The season continues after the Christmas/New Year break.  Another one-day game to start the new year, and an important match for both sides.  Whoever looses, will probably be out of the semi-finals, but whoever wins will have to keep on winning to make the semi’s.  I had what you might call a very quiet day, my partner didn’t.  Nearly all the appeals were for him to answer, and the fielding sides were not impressed.  So what do you do in this situation?  You support your fellow Umpire.  In private, you might mention what you saw or heard, but always with encouragement.

I had one appeal for LBW that I turned down which upset the bowler (nobody else though) and I explained to him that “might have hit the stumps” is not good enough; I have to be certain.  He replied that it was his “straight one”, and I replied “oh, was it?’.

A few overs later he got his man, out Hit Wicket.  The majority of the fielders appealed to me, but I had no idea how the bails fell off as I saw the ball pass wide of the stumps.  Luckily, a fielder appealed to the Square Leg Umpire and he raised his finger.  I then realised the batsman had stepped on his wicket.  A first Hit Wicket in a senior competition for both of us.  The new batsman came in to face the next ball and the bowler, as he walked passed me, said “this will be my straight one, Don”.  He bowled the ball and hit off stump – out Bowled.  As I walked down to pick up the ball, I turned to the bowler and said “Yes, it was”.  What do you do when the bowler broadcasts what he is going to bowl?  Ignore it and watch the ball as it is bowled.  It’s okay to have a little by-play with the bowler, but what is important is the decision on what you see and hear.  Don’t let the bowler talk you into a decision.

I have watched this particular bowler for many years and I must say that he is now bowling the best I have seen in the local competition.  He is not only taking wickets, but he is also restricting runs.  It must be a Captain’s dream to have a bowler who can do that and also have the knowledge of many years to help bring on the young guns.

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6 Responses to “Cricket Round 9”

  1. I still don’t know anything about Cricket Don, but I can’t help mentioning that we have just won the Ashes.

    A joke doing the rounds here is; “What do you call an Australian with champagne………waiter”.

    Have you got any views on this, that can be repeated in public?

    John
    Leamington Spa, England

  2. Hi John,

    WordPress must know something as it asked me to moderate your post. I have just been sent an email that sums up the Australian mood:

    Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the
    children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical
    answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of
    industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet
    and so the teacher asked him about his father.

    “My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his
    clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really
    good, he’ll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them
    sleep with him.”

    The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took
    little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
    “No” said Billy, “He plays cricket for Australia but I was just too
    embarrassed to say.”

    What can I say? You did us like a dinner.

    BTW, your mail and URL are invalid, hence no commentluv backlink. I think it should be johnmcnally iso johmcnally. You are missing an “n”. That’s what Guinness does to you.

  3. Come on Don, how do you expect me to spell my name correctly after drinking a barrel of Guinness?

    Your joke is funnier than mine, but I was surprised, I thought it would be an anti-English affair. Surely you Australians have been winning the Ashes for a very long time, over 25 years? We must be worth a few jokes with a record like that.

    John
    Leamington Spa, ENGLAND
    John McNally recently posted..How to Protect your BlogMy Profile

  4. John, we used to say “What do you call an English Cricketer with 100 to his name?” and the answer was “A Bowler”, but I’m afraid we can’t say that any more. Australians are fiercely competitive, but we know when we have been done and we do acknowledge that you outplayed us in batting, bowling and fielding. There is no doubt that you deserved your win, but we will be back. Nobody has been able to hold onto the crown forever and us Aussie’s like a challenge.

    As for Guinness, you should have everything set up like me, so that I can keep drinking and still be coherent to those that can asdf asdjfaj; tjhth asdjas, OK?

    Don

  5. I am certainly no fan of cricket Don but I thought you might appreciate the latest joke doing the rounds, or maybe you won’t! –

    A policeman in Adelaide pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic. He approached the car window and said “Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyzer”.

    The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor’s note. On it was written:

    “This man suffers from chronic asthma. Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath”.

    The policeman said “Okay then I need you to come and give a blood sample”

    The man produced another letter. This one said:

    ”This man is a hemophiliac.
    Please do not cause him to bleed in any way”.

    So the officer said: “Right, I need a urine sample then”.

    The man produces a third letter from his pocket. It read:

    “This man plays cricket for Australia; please don’t take the piss out of him”

    Bill
    Ashton-under-Lyne, UK
    Bill Murney recently posted..Even More BeerMy Profile

  6. Thanks Bill. The jokes are coming thick and fast. Aussies usually don’t mind having a laugh at themselves, especially when it’s other Aussies! 🙂

    I might also point out that we are 3-Nil up in the one-day matches so far. I’m sure somebody will come up with some jokes about that too.

    Don

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